I’m sure if you are reading this, you are what is called a ‘lightworker’. Lightworkers are people that come to earth with a spiritual purpose: service to others, bettering the planet, healing, beautifying the planet, challenging current beliefs for the growth of humans etc.
Lightworkers of today, can find relationships very confounding. This comes down to one word—vows.
Lightworkers have had many past lives in the spiritual realms as members of the clergy, monks, nuns, priests, gurus, healers, sages, missionaries, etc. They naturally tend to put others first, sacrifice themselves in service to others, and are often of humble means.
This relates to ingrained vows from the past including: vows of chastity, poverty, hunger (fasting), humility, isolation, and selfless service (often martyrdom).
Say the following sentences out loud, “I want a lot of money”, “I want fame,” “I’m out for myself,” “All I have to do is worry about getting what I want,” “I want to be rich, powerful, have an entourage, and be a player” or things to that affect, do you have a strong reaction? Do you hear a voice screaming “Noooooooo!”
Did you feel judgment over coveting these ‘worldly things’? If yes, then you are likely here on a spiritual mission. In the past, these hedonistic things would have been ‘temptations’ to resist, things to tempt you off your path, things that would shake your humility and move you further away from God.
Needless to say, having an aversion to earthly pleasures, is not altogether helpful in current times. It is not wrong or anti-spiritual to want love, security, money, joy, creature comforts, or even material possessions, if you are not driven by greed. These things allow us to take care of ourselves.
The modern world is driven by competition and acquisition, and these qualities in the extreme, can make you vulnerable to opportunists.
It is then, hardly a surprise that many light-workers have difficulty with relationships. They haven’t had a lot of experience with them, so it is new territory. They may not even give themselves permission to have relationships, much less those where someone is giving to them.
Modern society breeds narcissists. If you are conditioned by society to believe your only two choices in life are to be a have or a have not, your goal will probably be to collect, and not share, as many toys as you can. Some people are here in service to self, and others are here in service to others. The two can be put together, but like oil and water, they don’t mix.
If you find out a person’s values before you get involved (listening to red flags is hard, but vital), you will save yourself a lot of wasted time and heartbreak. If you ask, “What do you feel your life purpose is?” and they answer, “To have as much fun as possible,” or “To be rich and famous,” you know who you are dealing with.
The traps that can make you vulnerable to predatory people are:
Compulsive care taking
Putting your partners’ needs before your own
Putting other peoples’ feelings before your own
Being manipulated into doing more or all of the work in the relationship
Trying to fix or heal someone who is broken (they can sniff “fixers” out like sharks)
Being overly understanding and making excuses for your partner’s bad behavior
Being more tolerant of poor treatment than others
Lacking confidence due to being taken advantage of
Being more comfortable giving than receiving
Difficulty being vulnerable
Difficulty asking others for help
Doing way too much for other people without realizing it
Doing things for others at your own detriment
Letting people drain you
Minimizing how much you do for others
Difficulty with boundaries in personal relationships
Having a hard time setting limits and saying no
Being overly self sufficient
Not expecting anything from others (which is exactly what you get if you do not assert yourself)
Doing things for others they can, and should, do for themselves
This is by no means a complete list. Psychiatry would say these reflect subconscious patterns being re-enacted based on your childhood experiences. I would call them karma from past lives based on core issues you are trying to learn in this lifetime.
For many, their core issue is self-love, self-care, and figuring out how to have a healthy, loving relationship based on equality, not need.
If you are in a relationship where you feel more like a parent than a partner, you are fulfilling what I will call, “the pattern”.
The good news is that you can change this. Take the power back by realizing you created the perfect conditions for someone to mistreat you. Having awareness is the first step. It will be hard. You WILL fall into the pattern again, but hopefully, and gradually, it will take you less and less time to realize it.
Learn not to make bad investments. Lightworkers tend to fully invest in people and things that amount to a terrible business deal. Investing in something that has poor prospects for the future, produces low dividends, diminishes your resources, and leaves you bankrupt, is a bad deal.
Try not to take detours on the way to obtaining your goals. Invest in yourself. Toxic people will make you your own collateral damage. Can you afford that? Those truly capable of loving and caring for you, will appreciate you for who you are, not only for what you do for them.